Rooney scored a goal aa ?

Disclaimer : My cousin wrote all of this . I am a great football fan . I love Manchester United and Barcelona .

 

So the Euro 2012 is on . All my self confessed “ZOMG FOOTBALL IS AMAZING DUDE!” friends have mushroomed like bamboo shoots that grow at the rate of  three feet a day . Hitherto unknown names like Zlatan Ibrahimovic and  Helder Postiga are being thrown around like trigonometric equations that we spew with such amazing alacrity . Itseems France and England are scoring goals , lots of them  , Rooney is back and Ukraine fans rioted or something . I was gravely concerned with all these matters of such importance , I believe my exact words were *bleh* .

Despite societal constraints that state that a man MUST follow a sport , I do not like doing a lot of that . Yes , I do watch tennis once in a while , if only for Rafa’s brute force submission techniques and Maria Sharapova’s keen sense of fashion (LOL JK , killer legs ❤ ) . I kind of want to watch football , only to fit in with the “hip” crowd , but these useless people telecast the match at 2 in the morning. As a guy from twitter calling himself Saleem Pheku said “Friend just bought me a football team’s jersey . Now i know which team to support”.

I don’t get why such a great amount of importance is given to fully grown men kicking around inflated balls for ninety minutes or so for astronomical sums of money and then spending the rest of the day bonking around with curvaceous bimbos.. Take club football,. It makes great sense– some of the world’s finest footballers, in their peak physical and mental state, come together to showcase their agents’ negotiation skills.But all I see is people running around and even more people shrieking in happiness .

Here are some of the most commonly heard statements from my football fanatic friends:

~ “you see rey , this season we will pakka win off ”

I beg to disagree . My tenth class maths teacher taught me probability , and shockingly enough , I remember something apart from the crush during my there . You have a decent chance of winning bro . I mean , for all you know , just before the most expensive player ever bought by a club is about to score a goal , a girl blows him a kiss from the stands . Guy loses concentration on the ball and focuses on the other two mounds instead , thus making the crowd go “boo(bies)!” (BLAME THE HORMONES DUDE). You have a fair chance , yes , I’ll give you that . But saying that your club will always win is a bit of an overstatement , muck akin to saying Kangna Ranaut will always give classy performances (LOLZZ).

Or it is an equally likely outcome that this might happen : 

“MAN U ROXXXXXX !!!!!! EVERYONE ELSE SUXXXXXXXXXX”

No . Have you even been to Manchester ? Hell , do you even know where Barcelona is ? NO . Then stop doing off so much overaction and oh , some respect would also be nice . It is my PERSONAL opinion that the “rat race” theory (everyone is doing it , so even I will do it) is at play here . No , the other team does not suck simply based on the fact that you don’t like the color of the jerseys . IT DUZNT WORK THAT WAY DYUDE .

~“Behencho manager rey they have ! That was a stupid decision !”

NO . The manager has years of experience in dealing with testosterone charged guys screwing around with bimbos for timepass sake . The only experience you have is sitting in front of the telly . Yes , people make mistakes . Wasn’t I one too ?

This is my first post , yes I know it is not that good and all that . But I do have a few ideas floating around (why do all the multimillion dollar ideas occur ONLY when you are taking a dump ? K ) . But for a first post , this is not that bad no ? Comments and criticism greatly appreciated (but don’t do too much of it , otherwise I will do off suicide and blame it on you okay). Thank you .

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