NOTE : None of this is factually accurate , so don’t get too excited . If you get easily offended over pointless things , I kindly request you not to issue a gag order against me .
In a developement that has left the entire college shocked , Sandeep paper traders has approached the college management with a salary package of 25 LPA . This developement has sent shockwaves across the campus ( excluding the GITAM institute for Gandhian studies , because that place is practically empty ) .
“ GITAM graduates end up working at TCS or go abroad to pursue their dreams . I commend Sandeep traders for this innovative initiative to stop brain drain “ , said Mr.Dasarp , a college representative .
Mr.Sandeep , the proprietor of the store , says “ I have to open the shop at 8 in the morning . Even then , these students come in and ask for graph sheets and things like that . As you can see , we are very busy at the moment “ , he said , even as ten students demanded things ranging from a 3 rupee pen to a 30 rupee notebook . ( We thank Mr.Sandeep for his valuable time . He talked to me for two entire minutes ) .
“Assignments , micro xeroxes, textbook photocopies, print outs , projects , lab results , question papers ….Many vacancies are there “, he says . “ One fellow who came to buy graph sheets was telling that engineering students are very good at copying assignments , so I thought , why not hire them “ , he says , even as he counts a fat stack of ten rupee notes by constantly licking his fingers .
Mr.Sandeep has been kind enough to share with us some of the positions that are currently up for grabs , which include “ photocopier to customer paper passer” , “ Sub vice printing manager “ , “ chief problem assessment chairman” and “ micro xerox font analyzer” , to name a few .
A fourth year student claims that he rejected offers by TCS , Infosys and Google to apply for the prestigious job opening . “ I’ll stay in college and mint money like anything “ , he says , even as he learns how to resize the image in the photocopier .
GITAMites are already excited by the prospect of this wonderful opportunity , and have began preparation in earnest . Students have already started doing things to update their resume . We advise you start doing the same too.